Hallowell Brain Health Support

How to choose a target memory

Guidelines for selecting what to work on in your self EMDR session

Understanding Target Memories in Self-EMDR

• What is a target memory? (a specific memory that holds emotional weight)
• Why choosing the right memory matters (starting with a manageable memory helps build confidence)
• The goal of targeting a memory (reducing distress, shifting how it feels in the present)

Types of Memories You Can Work On

• Big, obvious memories (clear, significant events that still feel distressing)
• Small but meaningful moments (subtle experiences that left an impact)
• Patterns of experiences (recurring situations that trigger similar emotions)
• Recent vs. past memories (starting with older, emotionally distant events may be easier)

How to Pick the Right Memory to Start With

• Start with a memory that feels distressing but not overwhelming (avoid your most painful experiences at first)
• Rate the emotional intensity (on a scale from 0-10, aim for something around a 5-7)
• Look for a specific moment (a snapshot or short sequence, rather than a long period)
• Consider what feels “stuck” (a memory that brings up the same reaction every time)
• Notice body reactions (a good target is often felt physically as well as emotionally)

When to Reconsider a Target

• If a memory feels too intense to face alone (consider grounding or professional support first)
• If you feel completely numb or disconnected (a different approach or another memory may work better)
• If there’s no emotional charge (the memory may not need processing - look for another)

What If You Don’t Know Where to Start?

• Identify present-day triggers (things that upset you now often link to past experiences)
• Follow the emotions (ask, “When have I felt this way before?”)
• Let your mind guide you (sometimes, a memory naturally comes up - trust that process)
• Use a structured prompt (e.g., “What’s the earliest time I remember feeling this way?”)